New Journey for the New Year
If you made a New Year's resolution this year, then you are in the company of 1/3 or more of all Americans. If you have already given up on yours, then you are like most of those people. It's so common to give up on resolutions that the second Friday of January has been referred to as ‘Quitters Day’. Yet there is a small group who stick with it, about 10% of people who make New Year's resolutions keep them. If you aren’t a member of that club, how do you join them?
The practice of reflecting on the old to bring in the new is an ancient practice. The idea of a fresh start is exciting, so much so that some of us do it every year, only to disappoint ourselves on repeat. Why does this happen?
What Goes Wrong?
Magical thinking
We may put off tough challenges until January 1st because we imagine that somehow reaching our goal will be easier then, our determination will be stronger that day. Years ago, farmers assessed their crops and decided how to modify spring planting. But today we mostly aim to improve ourselves by eating healthier, losing weight, exercising more, or stopping bad habits. The problem is that we wake up to a January 1st that it is much the same as the days before it. We wake up our ordinary selves, without that needed infusion of willpower. It's common to make the same resolution this year that we made last year, and unless we plan for something to change, we are unlikely to reach our goals. It's like that well-known quote, "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results". If we have tried to change in the past, there may be lessons in our failures. We can use that experience to avoid the same pitfalls.
Perfectionism
Of course, being perfect is impossible. Those who succeed are not people who do things perfectly. Those who succeed are "good enough". They accept the reality of their lives, adjust to that reality, and persevere. They hit a snag, pick themselves up, and get back on track. They may have cheated on their diet one day or two days, but on the third day they don't waive the white flag of defeat; they get back to the battle. Remind yourself that you did not resolve to be perfect (I hope), so in the spirit of the understanding you would extend to a friend who goofed up, forgive yourself.
This is too hard!
OK, it is hard. If it were easy, you would've done it already. There are a couple of good questions to ask yourself: 1) Why change? Be honest about this. Unless you have an excellent reason to do things differently, you probably won't; 2) Is this a priority for you right now? Your resolution is important to you, or you wouldn't have made it in the first place. But to do things differently in your life, you will likely have to give up something; 3) Is your plan realistic or is it too ambitious?
Find success
Plan for change
If you are certain about your goal, then start with a plan. Think about potential obstacles and how to deal with them, also brainstorm about ways to make the task easier. For example, let's say you want to be more physically fit, but last year your resolution was to get up before work and go for a run outside. What went wrong? Perhaps you are a night owl with a history of hitting the snooze button, and you have never liked running. Clearly that resolution needs to be modified. First, applaud your decision to get into better physical fitness. Second, don't run, walk. Third, since you are a morning person, how about taking a walk on your lunch break. These modifications may increase your chance of success because now your resolution fits into your lifestyle, and it acknowledges your personal characteristics.
It's a journey
You may get off course, feel like a failure, and give up completely. If you vowed to lose pounds, one tip is to reframe your diet as a journey toward weight loss. Have you ever gone on a trip and took a wrong turn? If so, instead of going ahead unsure if you would reach your destination, you probably corrected your course. The same applies to your weight loss journey. Figure out what wrong turn you took and make a course correction.
Use SMART goals
You may have heard of smart goals, a management technique that has been in practice for several decades. It is a tool to help people think about what they intend to do, why they are doing it, how they will do it, and what obstacles may get in their way. You may find it helpful to write your goal in the SMART format as outlined below.
Specific: What do you intend to achieve?
Measurable: How will you track your progress?
Achievable: What makes this goal realistic?
Relevant: Why is reaching this goal meaningful to you?
Time bound: When will you do this?
Mind Games
Put your New Year's resolution into the SMART framework to help you achieve your goal—even if it's not January 1st!
In next week's blog post I'll share my resolution with you and show you how I used the SMART tool to clarify my 2025 new Year's resolution!
